I Feel the Need to Publicly Eat Crow

My son is engaged. When he was originally talking to me about the holidays, he asked if his fiancé could spend Thanksgiving with us. He then said Christmas would be with her family.

I said that would be fine and we would love to have them. We are hosting my husband’s family for Thanksgiving, and I was excited that the fiancé could meet more of the extended family. I was also excited for the fiancé and my daughter to have more time to get to know each other.

Then, a few weeks later, he asked if we would mind if they went to a football game on Saturday. I don’t want to be the type of mom to make my children feel obligated to spend time with the family. I said they could absolutely go to the game it wouldn’t bother us. I secretly wondered if they could invite my daughter and her boyfriend to the game as well.

Before I could ask about that, I found out that the fiancé‘s mom bought tickets to the football game. I began to feel angry because Thanksgiving was supposed to be our holiday with them. She gets Christmas!

I haven't said anything to my son yet, but I’ve been crafting a conversation in my head about my desire to have him spend time with our family. I really want my future daughter-in-law and my daughter to have a good relationship, and that requires spending a little time together.

Well, as weeks went by, we discovered that my daughter is unable to come home for Thanksgiving. She started a new job and that is their busy time. No one is allowed time off. So, the two girls wouldn’t be able to spend time together anyway as my daughter wasn’t coming home.

Our daughter called our son last weekend just to catch up. They got discussing holidays, and our son found out that we were thinking about going to Texas for Christmas. He was completely surprised by that.

As it turns out, when he meant Christmas was with her family, it actually means they are celebrating on December 10. They are getting together with some extended family and that is the date that works for them. My son is not spending December 25 with her family.

My daughter also can’t get time off at Christmas, but she invited us to spend the holiday with her. It was our understanding that our son was spending time with his future in-laws at Christmas. We started making plans to travel over Christmas.

So, we asked our son if he could join us in our travels. He then asked if his fiancé could come. Of course we said yes, and now they both will be coming with us for Christmas.

If you have read this far, thank you. Here are the lessons that I have learned.

1. I was harboring so much anger at the other mom thinking that she was manipulating the kids into spending part of Thanksgiving with them. I thought she got them for Christmas day.

2. When my son said they were spending Christmas with her family, I assumed she meant Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. In retrospect, I can see that he may not have known all the details. I also realize he is not the best communicator about things like this.

3. It now turns out that we get the kids for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. The other mom is being so gracious about it and is telling her daughter she’s lucky to have two families she wants to spend time with.

4. I am super glad I never voiced any of my anger to my son. None of it played out as I had envisioned in my head, and I would have looked like a manipulating fool. Praise God for keeping my mouth shut!

I just wanted to share my story because I think all of us sometimes make assumptions about our kids and their situations. Most likely, there is no malicious intent.

In summation, I would offer two pieces of advice. Don’t get angry, and keep your mouth shut! Let things play out as they should. If you see a pattern of behavior, you can address that accordingly. But for one isolated event, keep your mouth shut.

Written by a past retreat yogi & an Empty Nester - Sheri W.

Thanksgiving Prayer

This Thanksgiving, for many of us we will not be having our normal gatherings in physical form. As we prepare and gather in the ways that we can, here is my prayer for all of you...

May we feel each other’s love through connecting with Mother Earth (maybe going outside and standing barefoot on her beautiful soil). May we find our way through the lessons of life through our breath (maybe taking a deep breath and asking for guidance the next time we feel lost). May we flow with life, like water (maybe allowing ourselves to be changing and letting go of who we are not, so that we can remain authentic and true to who we truly are.) 

Let us take time this holiday season to find the ways to love each other amidst the great polarity we are are experiencing. As challenging as it is, this polarization is a perfect opportunity to transcend our differences, and come back once again to our collective humanity. 

With love this season,

Suzanne
 

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Covid Policy

Yoga Bloom Wellness takes your health and safety seriously. With that in mind, our accommodations are professionally cleaned and there is a 24 hour interim period between clients. The majority of our activities are outside and we are only serving solo individuals or members of the same household. To limit your exposure to others, we are operating with a limited staff.

Covid Saabatical

STRESSFUL, AS I CAN IMAGINE

Some on the front line saw things, I’m sure they never want to see again and in conditions that were still getting an understanding of the virus. Stressful, I can imagine. Others quickly learned to use Zoom and fumbled our way through the technology while learning a new way to preform our jobs. Stressful, as I can Imagine. Others who are in the travel, entertainment, and freelance workers are suddenly left with no business. Stressful, I can imagine.

Yoga Bloom was created to share tools to live a bigger, fuller life. This includes a lot of self love and a sense of self to viscerally know what is right for you and your body. Thank goodness for Yoga!!! My motto for many years was “when the s*** hits the fan, I go to more Yoga. It gives my nervous system a charge of hormones, which frankly make me more grounded with a clearer mind.

Although I have a strong yoga practice, I still am struggling with pandemic anxiety. I have decided to take care of my body, mind and spirit in the same manner I encourage my clients to do. For this reason, I have decided to take a few months off. No technology Well, as a responsible business owner, I will collect emails once a week. Otherwise, I’m giving my mind a break from technology, getting back in nature and loving the heck out of myself.

Rest assured that my creative mind will be dreaming of and planning our next retreats for when we can once again travel. Stay tuned to our news letters for developments.

Winter blessings to all. Stay safe and love one another.

Suzanne

Alcoholism is Not a Crime

Alcoholism is Not a Crime May 2020

In 10 years, we are going to ask, “What is wrong with our young adults?” 

“They were home schooled by alcoholic, weed smoking, sanxiety ridden parents without teaching experience.

Statements and memes similar to this are flooding social media.  We all need some humor to lighten our days during these unsettling times and my dry sense of humor says, “Go for it.”  My concern is that this attitude may simply sweep under the rug the feelings and real concerns of those struggling with increased consumption.

The American Heart Association reports that alcohol sales were up 54% in March.  If you think that is astounding, digest this…April, alcohol sales were up 500%.  Yep, 500%!

The media has brought to our attention the prevalence of mental health issues such as depression and anxiety and i’m thankful for the effort in destigmatizing mental health.  I have yet to see an ad on the television bringing awareness to the correlation between the two.  Its true that alcohol, weed, etc can add to preexisting mental conditions.  What I do is see ads of happy couples sharing a bottle of wine in their beautiful garden or similar. These people are fortunate to have someone to share with during the stay at home orders and most likely have no point of reference just how lonely and stressful it can be for those who live alone.  Not even to mention those who are in an abusive relationship and do not feel safe at home.  

“Alcoholism is Not a Crime”, are not my words.  They were told to me in the midst of a story a woman I am friends with shared with me speaking of her father.  She was recounting her relationship with her father and those close to her family of origin.  Diana stated that many family members did not understand mental health or alcoholism and outwardly expressed their feelings and disappointment, much to the chagrin of his children.  

What struck me during this conversation was the clear love and adoration Diana had for her father.  His true character was confirmed at his funeral.  During his eulogy, not a word was mentioned about the mans alcoholism.  What was spoke of was his gentle nature, how hard he worked to provide for his family, his silly sense of humor and the immense love he had for his wife and daughter.  Old timers in their 80’s got up to the microphone to share story after story of how this man went out of his way to be kind.  Buying extra bottles of milk to be delivered, putting them on the single mothers porch. This is just one example of the many kind actions this “alcoholic” did to care for and enhnce others lives.  

I have attached the article from the American Heart Association.  My hope for you today is that you take a few minutes to read the article and ponder who in your life couold use more compassion and understanding…less judgement and shaming.  This is a tough time for All.  How will you enhance another humanbeings life experience today and beyond.  If we really are, “All in this together”, lets show it with our words and in our actions.

Big Bear and Covid19

Are you over the Stay at Home Orders?  Ready to Kick off your next adventure? 

Not so quick. Although some restrictions have been lifted in the San Bernardino mountains, most businesses are still not open.  The lake is open to boats, paddle boards, kayaks and fishing.  Masks are optional and restaurants are suppose to be opening this weekend with social distancing and other restrictions.   

As a small business owner of 28 years, a full time Big Bear resident for 14 years and part time for 22 years, I have a heart for small businesses and this community.  Thus, have followed the City Council meetings and updates regarding COVID19.  The last meeting Mayor Rick Herrick stated that he would follow Governor Newsoms statewide orders.  For a recap of the meeting, click on the link below.  What I interpreted after listening to the May 12th meeting is that our City Council was disappointed in Newsoms orders but would follow them in order to be eligible for FEMA funds.  

Big Bear is a resort community and has over 800 vacation homes independently managed and that does not even account for the host of rental agencies that represent owners, lodges and hotels.  The Transient Occupancy Tax is a major funding source along with the sales tax from the restaurants and shops. My question is, "Does it fiscally make sense to wait for FEMA funds in lieu of collecting the above taxes?  How much and when is FEMA expected?"  I don't know the answer but anticipate that these questions are swirling around our officials heads and for sure the small business owners, restaurant workers, hotel workers, etc. 

Business owners held a peaceful demonstration Wednesday morning expressing their concerns for the length of time for reopening.  To read the full article go to http://www.bigbeargrizzly.net/news/

As for Yoga Bloom Wellness, we encourage people to stay safe and do what is right for themselves and their families.  For some that may be staying home.  For others, it may mean social distancing while getting back to their lives.  I firmly believe that as human beings, we need sunlight, nature, and social connections to keep us physically and mentally healthy.  With that said, we will resume our Yoga, Hiking, and Healing Waters retreats in Big Bear as soon as it is possible.  So many of us have been traumatized by the effects of this virus and healing will be in order to come out the other side of this as a better version of ourselves.  

My hope for each and everyone of you is that you are practicing self care and compassion for yourself and others and you have the opportunity to get out in nature daily to reduce stress and anxiety.  

With much love and gratitude, Suzanne

This article will be posted on our blog and as updates come in, they will be posted there, as well.  Be sure to sign up for our newsletter.


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It's a New Year, Holidays and Social Media

Holidays can be tough for many and I am no acceptation. This year was a bit easier, as I retreated inside and excluded myself from the commercialism and social gatherings with no expectation of myself of the "holiday season". Over the New Year, I stayed at my families home in Big Bear, solo..Skied once, visited with one friend and had lunch with another.. In a weeks time, that was all the "cheer" I was interested in. My dog and I ate comfort food, watched it snow, watched movies and napped. This was what my body, mind and spirit needed and I honored it. In the title above, social media is mentioned. I do this to remind others that social media is not reality. If you look at my posts, it will look like I have a glorious life with no account for "what is going on inside. I like to say that Facebook, etc is like a postcard to Disneyland...The pictures are of the lush landscaping at the grandiose entrance, people smiling and eating churros. Never once have I seen a postcard or advertisement showing the loading docks, garbage collection trucks and they certainly do not evoke the feeling that the employee wearing a heavy, sweat provoking costume for 8+ hours entertaining the patrons when they their shift is over. Business responsibilities this time of the year require a mentally clear mind while I plan and make decisions for our spring and summer retreats. So this yogi took a day reading, lounging by the pool at our retreat location in Baja last weekend...Self care... Wednesday morning I am headed to Boca Raton, Fl to bask in the warmth, continue to connect with my higher self and practice yoga. I am extremely grateful to one of my retreat clients and his wife who will be hosting me. Not only am I passionate about sharing the tools of yoga with others but I have met some of the most caring, amazing people on this journey.. Follow me on social media and my blog for amazing pictures from Florida and know, they are Only pictures. There is a human being with hurts, challenges, joys and triumphs beneath the photos. Here's to honoring Yourself in 2020! With much love and gratitude.

Where is the place you call home?

“Where is the place you call home?”

A few years back when I was very new to yogi philosophy and mindfulness wasn’t even on my internal map, I was invited to participate in a reiki session on the beach.  *If you’re wondering what reiki is, see below..

So here I am laying on the beach with a slight breeze blowing sand across me, in the scorching sun with screaming kids and a loud surf in the background, well that’s how it felt.  I felt the presence of someone near me, then there was an exchange something about my Anahata (heart chakra) and a large stone was plunked down on my sternum.  In addition to the burning sun, the waves were irritating loud and there were screaming children near by.

I’m seriously thinking, “when is this going to be over, I already have sun damage!”  I “anchored” myself to my breath as I had been taught.  Nope.. Still miserable.. I began to imagine riding my breath and trying to synchronize it with the crashing waves.. 

The next thing I remember was the sound of soft waves, children frolicking in the sea, and a gentle breeze cooling my warm skin.  This was mental paradise for a woman who has always loved the ocean and beach..

Some type of bells rang slight in my memory.  Then a woman’s voice, “Shes  not waking up..” Another voice, this happens occasionally, “Get the spray bottle”.

Seriously, a spray bottle?  At least, it’s not a soaker.  Although, I could pretty much care less as I was still riding waves and listening to the sweet sound of happy children. The spray did come next and it was gentle and lovely to my skin.  I now am in heaven. Eventually, I realized I may be being a tad bit rude to the other participants so I began to move my fingers and toes and eventually came to enough to sit up..

The woman who was my “reiki master”, held my hand and with the soothing voice of an angel she verbally shared my experience. Truly magical, but I’ll save that story for another time. 

I drove the hour drive up the coast of San Diego that afternoon in a type of fuzzy bliss that is unexplainable. Somewhere between awe and confusion.  I share all of this today on the heals of running into Andy last night at an end of summer fire ceremony at the spiritual center near me. You see, I was attending a class on mindfulness at Scripps  when I met Andy and I explained the awesomeness of how my mind “transported me from misery to bliss” without my consent to him. His mindfulness practice was much further ahead of my baby one. He  suggested that I now viscerally knew what it felt like to let go of worries and really live in the moment. One the most life altering and powerful things he gently shared with me was that I, me, had control over how I perceived the world And experiences. 

I have come back to this very visualization of laying on the beach many times over the years just to relax but more importantly, I have combined it with my breath while anxious or in extremely stressful  situations. Its  greatly reduced anxiety, lowered my heart rate, and brought my body back to a more calm manageable place where my mind begins to clear and I’m able to make better choices in stressful moments.  The conversation I had with Andy has changed the quality of my daily existence and I will be forever grateful!

“Where is the place you call home?”  I encourage you to ponder that question and my hope is it will lead you to a deeper understanding of yourself and how mindfulness can serve you..Making this world a little softer for you and those your life touches. 

*Reiki

I’ll tell you in my under qualified understanding.  It’s an energetic exchange between the reiki master and the practitioner using the ancient technology of tapping into the energy each of us have running through our bodies and extending out around us (koshas) to others and all beings. Typically, using the chakra system. Ever had someone come up behind you and you can just “feel” them “breathing behind you”? That’s an invisible energetic exchange.  Reiki masters are trained to release blockages in this system encouraging healing and balance within. 

Namaste,

Suzanne